After fifty years in the practice of law, and as a decade as an Executive Coach, I’ve seen generations of attorneys attempt to grow their practices through what we call “marketing.” They speak on panels, write thoughtful articles, attend receptions, host webinars, appear on Linkedin, and go to conferences. All of these efforts take time and, often, money. But for many lawyers, they lead to little or no new business.
This is a frustrating truth, particularly for those who genuinely try to put themselves out there. The problem is not that lawyers aren’t working hard at marketing — it’s that they don’t understand how business is actually generated. Visibility is not enough. Reputation is not enough. Even being the most qualified lawyer in the room is not enough.
Marketing activities create opportunities to form relationships. But lawyers rarely convert those opportunities into relationships, and then into new business. The missing piece is something that many lawyers are never taught — and many are uncomfortable doing: asking for business in a direct, one-on-one setting. This is the most effective way to develop new business.
Marketing vs. Business Development
Let’s distinguish between marketing and business development. Marketing includes everything we do to get our name out, to educate the public, to demonstrate our expertise, and to stay visible to potential clients. No doubt this is important. Business development, on the other hand, is about forming relationships that lead to actual legal work. And converting those relationships into actual business is the key to building a book of business!
Too often, lawyers think they’ve done their part by giving a great CLE presentation or being quoted in a trade publication. They may receive compliments, they may enjoy the experience, and they may even be contacted by someone afterward. But unless they take the additional, deliberate step of arranging a follow-up conversation where they can listen, connect, and ask for the opportunity to serve, the odds of that contact turning into a client are very low.
A conference does not generate business. A follow-up one-on-one meeting does.
A well-written article does not generate business. A one-on-one conversation does.
A networking reception does not generate business. A direct ask, made at the right time and in the right tone, does.
The Conversion Step
Marketing is the warm-up. Conversion is the game!
Conversion is what happens when you identify a potential client or referral source, follow up after the initial interaction, and arrange a meeting — coffee, lunch, or Zoom — that is designed to build trust and demonstrate interest, and where you make a direct request for business.
Here’s what conversion often looks like in practice:
1. You attend a trade association event and meet a general counsel of a company in an industry you serve.
2. You have a pleasant conversation, maybe exchange some views about regulatory changes or litigation trends.
3. You get their contact information.
4. After the event, you send a note: “I enjoyed our conversation at the [event name]. I’d love to continue it. Would you have time for a coffee on one of these three dates [insert dates}. If none of these work, please suggest some dates convenient for you.”
5. At the meeting, you ask questions about their legal challenges. You could ask “what keeps you up at night about your business?” You don’t jump into a sales pitch. You listen attentively.
6. At the right moment, you say something like: “It sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate. We’ve handled similar matters for clients in your industry, and I’d love the chance to help you as well. Would you be open to us exploring how we could work together?”
That’s it. A respectful, well-timed ask. No potential client would be offended by this ask.
And yet, that step — the ask — is skipped by most lawyers.
Why Lawyers Avoid the Ask
Lawyers are trained to analyze, argue, and advocate. But most of us were never trained in sales. We’re uncomfortable being perceived as pushy. We worry about damaging relationships or seeming desperate. We may be afraid of rejection.
But asking for business isn’t desperate. It’s professional. It’s respectful. And when done well, it strengthens rather than weakens relationships.
There’s no shame in letting someone know you’d like to work with them. In fact, many clients appreciate the clarity. They don’t want a hard sell. But they do want to know who’s interested, who’s confident, and who’s willing to be direct.
Sample Phrases to Ask for Business — Direct and Practical
If you’re unsure how to move from conversation to conversion, here are examples of how to ask for business more directly, without sounding pushy. These questions and responses are meant to open a real dialogue and naturally lead to the ask:
1. “What keeps you up at night about your business?”
After they answer:
“We’ve worked with a number of clients facing exactly that kind of challenge. I’d really like to help you navigate it” or “my partner Bill handles matters just like that. Could I arrange an introductory call with Bill? I think you would benefit from it.”
2. “Where do you feel legally exposed right now?”
After they share:
“That’s an area where we have deep experience. I’d been honored and privileged to support you on that.”
3. “If something were to go wrong in your company this quarter, what would it likely be?”
Then say:
“That’s a pressure point we’ve addressed for others, and we might be able to reduce that risk for you.”
4. “Have you had to deal with anything this year where you wished you had better or faster outside counsel?”
If yes:
“We pride ourselves on being both fast and practical — I’d love the chance to show you how we work.”
5. “Are there matters you’ve been holding off on because they’re not urgent — but they’ll eventually need attention?”
Then offer:
“We could take a look and help you prioritize or even take some of it off your plate right now.”
These kinds of questions do three things at once:
They show genuine interest in the prospect’s situation,
They position you as a problem-solver, not a salesperson,
And they create a smooth path to say: “We’d like to help.”
Don’t wait for the prospect to connect the dots. Make it easy for them. Sometimes, the best next step is just to say plainly:
“Would you be open to us working together on this?”
“Can I send over a proposal or a short summary of how we’d handle it?”
“Would you like to set up a meeting with others on your and our teams so we can dig in further?”
The goal is to open the door — and most often, you need to be the one to reach for the handle.
Relationship-Driven Business
Business development in law is not transactional. It’s relationship driven. That’s good news for lawyers who value long-term client service and trust. But relationships require intention. You don’t get them just by being present at events. You get them by following up, scheduling time, and offering value — including the willingness to ask, plainly and sincerely, for the business.
Many clients won’t give you work until they’re asked. In my experience, some won’t even realize you want to help them unless you say so. Don’t assume your credentials or visibility speak for themselves. Clients are busy. They want help, but they may not know where to turn — or they may have lingering doubts until you express genuine interest. Many times when I have asked a relationship for business, I have been met with a surprised look and the statement that “Oh, I didn’t know you wanted my business. That would be great.”
Turning Activity Into Opportunity
So what can lawyers do to turn their marketing into a real opportunity? Here are a few practical steps:
1. Be strategic about your presence. Don’t just attend events — attend the right events, where your target clients or referral sources are likely to be.
2. Follow up within 48 hours. After a promising interaction, send a short, friendly email suggesting a follow-up meeting. Make it personal and specific.
3. Prepare for the meeting. Know something about their business. Ask good questions. Don’t dominate the conversation with stories about your firm.
4.You want to create a personal connection. One way is to ask, at an appropriate time, “what do you like to do when you are not working?” Then, keep asking questions about the activity. Your interest in the subject will help create a personal connection.
5. Find the right moment to ask. Once you’ve built rapport and demonstrated understanding, don’t be afraid to say, “I’d love to help. Where might we be a fit?”
6. Be persistent, not pushy. If the timing isn’t right, stay in touch. Send an article. Invite them to an event. Check in periodically. Relationships are cultivated over time.
Final Thoughts
The legal profession is filled with highly capable, diligent professionals who want to do good work and grow meaningful practices. But good work alone doesn’t generate clients. And good marketing efforts don’t either — unless they’re followed by the deliberate, respectful, and sometimes uncomfortable step of asking for business.
Over the years, I’ve watched too many lawyers confuse activity for effectiveness. A packed conference calendar or a steady stream of LinkedIn posts may create visibility, but it does not build a book of business. That comes from relationships — and relationships are built through conversations where you not only listen and connect but also ask for business. Lawyers who succeed in business development have pipelines stuffed with one-on-one meetings where they can connect with potential clients and ask for their business.
So, the next time you finish that article, step off that stage, or walk away from that handshake at a reception, ask yourself: What’s the next step? And when will I ask for the business?
Because that’s where the real growth in your book of business begins.
(The author was a law partner for 45 years and has been an Executive Coach for a decade. Look at www.mastermethod.co)
You just delivered some beautiful coaching, Marc. When push comes to shove it all comes down to personal relationships, which in this world of digital interactions and competitive hierarchies feels uncomfortable and scary. And of course lawyers, like doctors, law enforcement, and public figures often see themselves as more important than the people seeking their help. Add money to the mix (you must be better than me if you charge so much money) and you’ve built a wall. I’m not saying that boundaries are not important but we need to start including classes in personal engagement and EQ in our schools. I bet you’re a terrific lawyer and I’m basing that not only on your knowledge but the empathy in your words as well.
Tremendous advice. It is what I do and what I have counseled young associates to do for years. Thank you for writing it, Marc.